Coty Terry

God told me not to plan to do anything after work today. I thought it was because something was going to occur, like Joshua was going to want to go do something or our parents were going to invite us over or some random crazy thing would just pop up. That has happened before, where I’m planning my week and there’s an evening or day where God says to leave it open because something will occur that I’m not expecting, and then it does. So I was curious to see what would happen when I got off work.  I kept checking my phone throughout the day, wondering if someone called or if my husband messaged me with plans I wasn’t expecting. But I got no such call, no such message, and when I came home today, there were no plans that all of a sudden just came up. My evening was clear (for the most part - outside of writing this blog post and cooking dinner).  I usually buy groceries on Thursdays, and I’ll be honest and admit that it takes me like 2 hours or more due to my wanting to figure ou...

Rest. It’s a good notion, one that I’m trying to do. God’s been telling me it’s what I need, and He’s been teaching me what it can look like. It’s funny because often I think, Wow, how nice would it be if I could just relax and rest right here,  often just when I’m in our prayer room, on the floor, listening to a chill worship set, or when I’m lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, not ready to sleep yet. When I just want a break. But that thought is often followed by the realization that I don’t have time to right now, I have to do something, whether that’s hurry up and finish my Bible-reading before I have to get ready for work or that’s that I have to leave the house soon. Or at least, that’s often my perception, that I don’t have time. But God’s showing me that I need to make time, to rest. And it’s funny because, when I finally do make time, I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m wasting time or like I’m doing something wrong, like there’s no possible way God wants me to j...

I realize I want a perfect life. That’s what I’ve been working so hard for. That’s what I’ve been praying so much for. That’s what I’ve been obeying so precisely for. If all things are perfect and all things occur as I’d like them to, I avoid experiencing pain again.  Maybe I’ve never properly grieved about anything, or at least some things, to feel such a deep desire and motivation to avoid pain. Maybe there’s some unforgiveness locked away. Maybe there’s some scabbed-over hurt that keeps being picked at. Maybe every small hurt, every disappointment, every wake-up call, adds to the pile of hurt that hasn’t yet been sorted through and addressed.  I want my life to be perfect because, to me, perfect means a never-ending feeling of joy where I never have to experience pain again.  But I’m starting to also realize - or really God’s making me realize - that if I try to avoid experiencing pain by either trying in my own strength to succeed and control or pushing down the disa...

 Rest... It's a tricky word. We all want it. We all enjoy it. Yet, many of us struggle to actually experience it. All the Marthas in the world are too busy trying to hold things together to actually sit at Jesus' feet. Are you one? Am I one? How do you know if you're actually being a Martha or if you're just working hard? 38 Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who was also seated at the Lord’s feet, and was listening to His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with [a]all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do the serving [b]by myself? Then tell her to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; 42 but only one thing is necessary; for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” - Luke 10:38-42 What ...