My Evening Was Free of Plans, And I Loved It

God told me not to plan to do anything after work today.

I thought it was because something was going to occur, like Joshua was going to want to go do something or our parents were going to invite us over or some random crazy thing would just pop up. That has happened before, where I’m planning my week and there’s an evening or day where God says to leave it open because something will occur that I’m not expecting, and then it does. So I was curious to see what would happen when I got off work. 

I kept checking my phone throughout the day, wondering if someone called or if my husband messaged me with plans I wasn’t expecting. But I got no such call, no such message, and when I came home today, there were no plans that all of a sudden just came up. My evening was clear (for the most part - outside of writing this blog post and cooking dinner). 

I usually buy groceries on Thursdays, and I’ll be honest and admit that it takes me like 2 hours or more due to my wanting to figure out how to fit only the super healthy ingredients for our meals in our budget. It involves a lot of maneuvering on my part. Most weeks I somehow make it work without crying, but it can be very stress-inducing. (God has been helping me a lot with this.) This week, though, I felt like God was saying to leave this evening open, so I ordered groceries online yesterday instead. I will admit that it was super nice not having that hang over my head as another to-do for the evening, but I still wondered what God had in store.

And then it hit me, while Joshua and I were putting together our salads for dinner after a game of catch at the park. Maybe God just wanted me to rest tonight and truly do nothing. I had been exhausted the past few days. I think most of it was emotional exhaustion (a lot’s been going on in my life lately) with some physical exhaustion in there from a little lack of sleep and early morning exercising. I had opened up to God about it, asked Him what to do, how I can keep up with everything and still find rest and not be so exhausted all the time. I was falling asleep at work and not knowing how to keep it from happening. I get at least 7 hours of sleep most nights (though I shoot for 8, I figure 7 isn’t too bad), and I try to eat enough and lay my burdens down in prayer. But I think God’s lesson for me today was that sometimes I just need a break. If I’m exhausted, I need to just stop and rest. It may not be every Thursday that I do nothing in the evenings (I’m one who likes consistency, so this was a hard concept to grasp), but if I’m feeling exhausted, it’s okay to do just that. Maybe I can prep while I’m strong, like yesterday’s grocery shopping, and rest while I’m not, like tonight. (And I need to always consult God when I’m planning because He knows what’s up.)

So tonight, Joshua and I just ate our dinner, had some dessert (well, jam on toast and an orange lol), and actually watched two whole episodes of Best Baker in America. And I only felt bad about it a couple times, until I prayed and felt God’s peace about my break. 

I really am trying to know how to rest without feeling guilt or feeling lazy, and I’m thankful to have a Father who is patient enough to teach me. 

Thank You, Lord, for a break. I loved it, and I love You.

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