Too Many Choices

Choices. So many choices. I often stress about making the right one, and it’s wearing me out.

Have you ever shopped at Walmart and been immediately overwhelmed because you don’t know which way to turn first, to the produce or the toothpaste, left or right, or even if to buy the name-brand tomato sauce or the generic, and if name, which name, and if generic, organic or regular? There are so many decisions to be made in Walmart because there are so many options, so many temptations. You know you should go with the healthier side of rice, but having chips as a side sounds really tasty. It’s a battle between taste buds and digestion, money for gas and higher quality food, more time in the evening and a unprocessed, raw whole chicken. 

It could just be me that goes through this when I step into Walmart or, possibly, any big grocery store, but the real problem is that I deal with this on the daily with anything, constantly trying to make the right decision. Should I take my phone with me to the bathroom to get some quick errands done while I walk or should I leave my phone behind to give my eyes a break? Should I nap at lunch time so I don’t fall asleep while I work or should I take a walk to get some much-needed sunlight and exercise? Should I go to bed early to finally not be tired or spend time with my husband now that all the chores are done? So many choices. 

God’s been revealing to me that I’ve been stressing about making those choices way too much, that it’s okay whichever choice I make, that He loves me, He protects me, that He’s given me wisdom. I so badly want to make the right choice that sometimes I get nervous to ask the Lord for the right one because I worry that I’d hear Him wrong. But when I do ask Him, He’s so right. Still, I often second guess Him and worry more and get pressed. And then sometimes I think I just want to choose my flesh so badly that I stress out as well, which is choosing the flesh that much more, so I don’t seek the Lord on it or rest in Him or even ask for His help. 

Yes, that’s it. I forget that I can ask for His help, with any decision.

The thing is, when I have a Father who loves me, who has all authority and power, who sends angels down to protect me and has given His Holy Spirit to always help me, who can redeem any situation and will always love me, why is it so scary to make the wrong choice? Why can’t I just ask God for help and take a chance, trusting that He’s got me?

As I ponder those questions, I’m realizing that the truth is I haven’t been believing in God’s grace and forgiveness, that He wants to and will help me and redeem every error, putting me back on the right path. I haven’t been forgiving myself for every mistake I make as He’s been forgiving me. And I haven’t been relying on Him. I pray, God, that You would help me do that and trust in You alone. Amen. 

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