God's Lessons of Patience: What He Has Taught Me

God's lessons of patience for me (husband)

I remember back when I was first coming to Christ, after I graduated college, I asked God to give me patience, to work that in me. I was warned, saying to be careful to ask that because then He'd put me in situations where I had to be patient. I didn't want to be afraid to ask something of God that He wants us to receive, that is part of His fruit, so I asked despite the warning. And boy, was I in for a treat.

My first lesson of patience: go the speed limit. I felt convicted by God to stop speeding so much. (I would actually go up to 100 miles an hour on the highway - wild, I know. I wondered why my car's engine ended up dying.) I knew it was against the law, that it was probably wrong, but still, I wondered why. What are You trying to teach me through this, God? And He reminded me that I asked to learn patience, and this would be a way. I speed out of a lack of patience because I want to hurry up and get to where I want to be. Going the speed limit forces me to be patient, trust God, repent for being late, and be okay with getting to where I'm going when I'm supposed to be there (and not any sooner). 

Once I started going the speed limit, I thought that was it. I have now mastered patience. I need no more lessons. But then there was waiting for my husband. If you follow my YouTube, you may already know the story of how I thought God told me who my husband was and how long I waited for him to finally propose and make me his wife. (If you haven't heard and would like to hear the full story, check it out here.) I waited two years for that proposal, two years of barely talking to the guy, hoping for his attention, never really receiving it, and feeling rejected. But I was loyal. I turned down every guy who showed interest, and didn't consider looking myself. Two years, until finally God got through to me, and I understood what He was saying. I had to let the guy go. If he were right for me, he would have been interested and made the decision to pursue. 

God allowed me to wait two years. But, in that time of waiting, I prepared for marriage like I never had before. And now that I'm actually married, I see that it helped a lot. Praise God for using a rough season for my good, preparing me for marriage and helping me see that I can be patient when it's something worth waiting for. And anything God has for me is worth waiting for. 

Thankfully, after my repentance on believing a lie for two years, God brought me to my actual husband just four months later, and only one or two months after I was open to having another guy in my life. 

Now, after those two years, I thought for sure I knew what patience was. I thought I could wait forever for anything God needed me to. I didn't want to have to be patient again, but I saw that I could. I also thought I never would have to again, lol. Or at least hoped that, hoped that I passed the lesson and graduated to something new. I was wrong.

Marriage is truly a commitment to a surrendered lifestyle. Christianity, really, is the ultimate commitment to a surrendered life, but, for me, marriage made me realize how surrendered to Jesus Christ I really have to be. And I have to trust that He knows best. And I have to be patient with His methods. 

Being this connected to someone else has really opened my eyes. It's shown me that I don't always know best and that my way of thinking isn't the only way of thinking. I didn't realize how much I thought my thoughts were higher than others (I know, so prideful, which is another thing God is working in me: humility). But I also didn't realize how tough it would be to watch and walk beside someone else's sanctification process. Talk about trying. (I wonder what my husband feels about my sanctification process? Hmmm. It's probably just as trying to watch and walk beside.) 

Have you ever seen a 60-second time-lapse on YouTube of a seed turning into a beautiful flower or a painting coming to be? I realized that's how I wanted my husband's life to be: a time-lapse of his sanctification, moving really quickly with him ending up as holy and sanctified as Jesus, thinking of when Christ said, "Be holy because I am holy," in 1 Peter 1:16. I wanted him to be perfect right away, or at least have mastered not doing all of the things I didn't like. The problem with that, though, is that I didn't expect the same for myself. For myself, I wanted grace, patience, and forgiveness from my husband. I wanted him to give me second, third, and seventieth chances. I wanted God to sanctify me as I was ready for it, and not before. 

God is helping me realize that I've been hypocritical, trying to control my husband even, in a way, to be the exact man I want him to be right now. But that's not fair, because I for sure am not the exact woman he wants me to be right now, and that's why we've had to forgive each other and have grace for each other. 

God is helping me realize that I need to be patient with the growth of my husband, as I'd need to be for any person. It's harder, I feel like, when it's someone I'm tied to, can see every flaw, hear every spoken thought, tell every emotion, because the speed of his growth affects me. But his growth itself affects me as well, in a good way. And I've definitely felt the benefits, and I thank God for it. God has a way of working in all of us that is beautiful and purifying and long-suffering, taking our whole lives even to be who He destined us to be, a truly sanctified and holy person, as Jesus is, only by His grace and Holy Spirit.

God is helping me realize that I need to trust Him with my husband, that He is doing a work in him no matter how fast or what it appears on the outside, and that what He is doing is far greater than anything I could ever do myself. 

So I'm starting to think that patience is one of those virtues that will continue to require lessons, but I think that mastering patience is worth the wait. Thank You, Lord, for teaching me. 

If you'd like to hear more about the purpose of patience, check out my video on it here.